Tuesday, 1 April 2014

The world's humour hits me again... Round 2 it is then

If you remember reading my post about the dam rain, then you would know that I have this theory that the world has a very good sense of humour that it likes to throw at us parents...
I'm currently experiencing some more of it, The night time illness of a child.
We have all been there, during the day they are 99% themselves maybe a runny nose and cough but otherwise still bouncing off the walls, but at night they are 100% ill, they have a sore throat, cough, crying and a fever... Sometimes due to the coughing your throwing in some sick... Thanks world 1 to you it is...
Where does the worlds humour come in I here you ask me... its the part where us as parents are up all night fighting to make our babies better, and during the day their bouncing off the walls.... but we are still left drained and ratty due to lack of sleep.
I really would like to say with 4 children I have some advice on how to make the night time illness easier to handle, but I don't really apart from some old tricks work to help with the coughs and runny nose. You could try Vicks on the feet covered by socks and a little bit on the corners of the bed and underside corners of the pillow so that they don't rub it all over their faces.

Sore throats, well I find calcough (calpols own cough medicine) works well, as it soothes the cough and also helps the with the sore throat.....

That's it really just another moan at the worlds sense of humour
char xox

Sunday, 30 March 2014

Pocket money issues

Should you get children to do things around the house for pocket money???

What do we think as parents, now I have been thinking hard about this since discussing with a friend about it. she told me my pocket money system was difficult and long winded and may confuse the kids, which in turn may be why its not working as a incentive.
heres my pocket money system:

Pocket money – £1 per week + 20p per year of age 10p extra for every gold star, they get for completing a house hold task they have been set that month (pocket money will be giving on weekend Aimee and Lucy are home)

After a lot of thought I agree it is long winded, confusing and maybe a little bit on the stingy side.... specially for children age between 3 and 9.

We also discussed as to what I have on the gold star list for them to do, she stated things like keeping their bedrooms clean shouldn't be rewarded it should just be something they do.

So I went a head and researched pocket money, I found a great article on Netmums.com
here it is if you would like to take a look:

I found loads of good points that I completely agree with.

  1. A good pocket money system is a win-win. They learn household skills which they will need later on in life, they also learn money has to be earned, not hand to them (lets make sure our children don't become part of the money for nothing generation we have going on now) and in turn it teaches them that money has value.
  2. Don't use pocket money as a bride for things that they should be doing (my friend makes some very good points, doesn't she.. lol)
  3. Don't use the label CHORES it gives them the wrong impression and complicates things.. It makes it sound like something they don't want to be doing, we don't want to give them this impression.
  4. When they have spent it. it's gone. don't top it up because they get upset... once again this will send the wrong impression about the value of money.
  5. Decide what is essential (the things we will buy) and what are the non-essentials (the things they want, so they can buy with their pocket money.
  6. Try not to interfere when they are deciding what to buy, but discuss what the difference is between instant gratification and long time enjoyment.
Yer not even we now how it works....

A system I have come up which is simple is they get 1 house hold task a day if at the end of the month all is done they will receive £20 for the next month, but once they spent It, that's it they have to wait till the next month..

char xox

Friday, 28 March 2014

School issues.. Round... Um I forgot where we are now........

So we had parents evening yesterday for our son who is in year 1 of infants school.. It seemed to be going well, until my husband brought up the fact that on Tuesday my son had a accident at school, he actually had two types of accidents...
 He bumped his head in the play ground.. Oh and yes they waited to Thursday at parents evening to inform us, and a toilet accident, the poor boy wet himself.
He says its the teachers fault, at first I didn't believe him.. Until his teacher confirmed it last night. He struggles a lot at school his reading, writing and spelling is well below the national average expected. So he has extra help in the mornings and extra little groups through the day.
This is done with a H.L.T.A (higher learning teacher assistant). She told him he needed to do his hand writing then he could go.
Well if she paid attention Tyler is a slow worked he gets distracted, and it takes him a long time to finish writing tasks.. So he never finished the dam task and because she told a 5 year old who hates to get into trouble to wait UNTILL HE HAD FINISHED THE WRITING TASK which he never did, he didn't think he would be allowed to go to the toilet so ended up wetting himself, getting embarrassed in front of his friends and crying to me at home.. AAAAGGGGHHHH

These teachers say lead by example so this is what im proposing to the H.T.L.A don't go to the toilet until your working day is done...

OK a bit extreme but, lately its one rule for them and another rule for us and our children.
I have had many a times where Tyler has come out of school looking extremely dirty.
Now if I had sent him in like that it would be classed as neglect... let me tell you another little story from year R that still makes me mad today...

During a morning playtime 2 boys from Tyler's year stole his shoes, ran around the playground with them (it had been raining) while tyler had to chase them... he ended up with wet muddy socks for the whole day, and to top it all off he then fell over in some mud, which ended up on his face.. Keep in mind this was morning play! He came out of school with this mud at 3.10pm still on his face.
 Like seriously a piece of tissue would of got it off with some water. Now im guessing it was much worse when it happened but if you told him to wipe it off at least make sure his face is completely clean not just the bulk of it gone. Once again... AAAAGGGGHHHH

Then there's the bump to the head on Tuesday. So a orang bump letter came home, but it wasn't filled in not even his name, so I could of been meant for any child... no explanation, I wouldn't of noticed the bump until bath time as his hair currently cover his forehead as he needs a hair cut, but I found this orange slip when doing his reading, handwriting, challenge words and teddy words home work....
It seems to me that yes this school is great for learning, but the care and attention that is needed for our children's wellbeing and safety just isn't there at the moment... a lot of the parents have noticed and we have all separately brought it to the schools attention, so this is just not words but I am just so mad about it all I needed to get it out all of it

char xox

Wednesday, 26 March 2014

Strike Day..

So yesterday I think I picked the wrong children up from school... they played nicely, went to bed nicely and even this morning they are being nice to each other (not me!)...
I have the usual I don't want to get dressed I don't want to do this but with each other they are being angels im kind of freaked.. Unfortunately I can't return the older two and pick up correct children because the school has gone on strike, I'm still trying to find out where I send my £60 fine per teacher that has taken a day off and affected my child's education... It's seriously not fair, they get to take insets days in school term when they could clearly do these training days in summer holidays or half terms and strike days are fine but us taking our children on holiday I state our children not theirs and we get a fine, when did they become the governments children and not ours I'm going to start sending the bill the to.. OMG just forgot the prime ministers name... Morning fogginess.... Oh yer I'm going to bill David Cameron for everything it costs to take care of these kids even that massive £59 a week I pay to get them to school..
Anyway back to point... Well actually in the time from starting to type this to now my angel children have reverted back... it's that dam sods law... You say or type it they do the opposite, they realise u feel like you getting a small break, oh no they will take it away 'no way mum....'
I just don't get it really I don't I don't get why they have to argue over that one toy its not like they don't have their own toys, enough to go around... But that one little car that can be thrown at heads or thrown into the wall and dent it.. has to be the one they all have.
With 4 kids running round my feet I always a child in some emotional state.. the hyper one, the moody one, the angry one or the bored one... never a dull moment
So its only a small post today, more of a rant about the strike... But I needed to say it hope you are all having a fun strike day, I'm having a 2 week strike day soon its called a family holiday.. If they can we can. Can't have one rule for one and one for the other. Have a good day friends
char xox

Tuesday, 25 March 2014

Rain Rain go away come back..... Um never

Its raining, as if we didn't have enough rain this year already.. Yes im talking about the weather.. This is what you bring up in a conversation when it goes stale but for me the rain is a big issue... See we moved last year (February 2013) back to our home village of Liss, only from Petersfield which is a town over, one train ride, 4 main bus stops over and a 5 minute car ride... Why is this all important because the of school run..
We tried to move all 3 children who go to school into the local school but could only get the girls in at the time. 1 in the infants year 2 and one in the junior school in year 3... but no space for Tyler who was in year r.. so for the last half of the school year we split them between the schools... why you ask because we where told that I gave Tyler more of a chance to get a place if he a siblings at the school. It didn't help at all.. over a year has past and he's still in his old school, for a year I did split school run I would catch the bus or train to petersfield depending when my youngest finished playschool pick Tyler up 40 minutes early, (this works out that he was missing 1/2 a day of school a week) just so I could turn round and rush back to train station so I could make the 3.57 train back to liss to rush up to the school to pick my youngest daughter up from infants at 3.15.. then make the 30 minute journey home, and when it was raining, it was hell.
After a year, an appeal case which was denied and transport application which was denied... we decided it would be best if the girls where also back in the petersfield schools (they loved this idea..) It would make school run a little easier. Tyler doesn't have to miss 40 minutes of school a day, and school run only take s 1 hr. not 2 1/2 hrs.

 I wouldn't even ask about the cost, because I  pay my parents £20 a week in diesel money to get them to school in the mornings, £3.40 a day on train fare for me or £2.70 on the bus there and £3.00 home on train for me.
Then there's the over 5's train fair which works out currently at £4.50 in total to get all 3 home each day.. a week it costs a minimum of  £59.50 to do school run...

So the rain is extremely annoying because I get soaked in it and it always rains over school running even if it stops at some point during the day you can guarantee it will rain over school run.. If you think there's no sense of humour in this world then you just haven't done school run on a day that its raining cause the world loves to laugh at us parents doing school run... Well I'm laughing right with you now cause its sending me dam crazy...
char xox

Monday, 24 March 2014

So the Parenting Contract.. Hmmm

So as thought my hubby laughed at me when I told him my idea, he said and I quote "no way in hell am I letting you punish me because I don't stick to the dam rules". I did point out this exactly what he wants to do to the children and they only learn by example... Nnce again he laughed at me, one of his favourite sayings is 'Do as I say, not as I do'.
That idea didn't go down so well but when I kept on at him, he did say he was willing to sit down and write out a routine for the children stating what bed times should be, the pocket money situation and how they should earn it, and what should happen if they were in our eyes naughty... We still need to work out what exactly is naughty and what's not I think but im happy with the compromise.
So I thought I would share our routine for the kids... I not so sure if it will work completely but I am hoping for a happier, peaceful home that I can get down and sort my stuff out in...

Children' routine
  • Evening routine - home by 4.30pm home work dinner will be at 5.30pm latest, we will all sit at the table as a family, unless daddy isn't home from work, then he may eat it later.
  • Bed time routine – to increase 15 minutes per year on their birthdays until bedtime reaches 9pm until the age of 16 when it becomes 11pm
Aimee-lee – 7.30pm bath reading then light off by 8.15 pm
Lucy-mae - 7pm bath reading then bed by 7.30pm
Tyler – 6.30pm bath, story then lights off by 7.15pm
Charlie – 6pm bath, story then bed by 6.30pm
  • Discipline and punishment - if a child is naughty they get one warning, if they have to be told a second time they will get put on the naughty step for a maximum of 10 minutes, if after a full 10 minutes has been spent on the naughty step they need to be told again then they will lose 20p from their weeks pocket money until they have none left after this is they still need to be told they will lose a privilege i.e. computer usage or kindle. We will not smack our children, we will not shout.
  • Pocket money – £1 per week + 20p per year of age 10p extra for every gold star, they get for completing a house hold task they have been set that month (pocket money will be giving on weekend Aimee and Lucy are home)
  • Rewards - when achieving a goal set at school or home they will get £5 added to their pocket money
So what do you think, I'm going to need charts for pocket money & their little house jobs, which I will also need to work out. of course that's all going to depend on their age, Aimee will be able to do jobs that Charlie defiantly wont. I think a note book to keep track of targets at school, and pocket money earned... lets see if it works ill keep you posted

you have to laugh when its taking me 9 years to relise being a mum is like running a business everything needs to be kept track of, targets need to be set and rewards giving when done... lol x x

Sunday, 23 March 2014

Different parenting ideas

We have all been there I bet like most house holds its a struggle daily, not just to get the kids to understand and do it but to actually agree with each other on how to parent the children... Now my children do not have the same dads my eldest two have one farther and my youngest are my husbands, I was 17 and 19 when I had my 2 girls and was way to young I admit this I didn't make for a very good mother my girls suffered the failures and tries of my finding my feet while I was still trying to figure myself out.. I still haven't done that.
But back to point even when you think you have your tag team strategy down, one of you will surprise the other by doing something out the blue that the other doesn’t agree on.. my husband was brought up in a house with problems worse than my own childhood home, they suffered a lose no one should suffer which haunts him still to this day, he has a farther that cared more about getting his own peace and quiet than parenting. I'm not going to go into detail, because his mother and step-farther are the most loving caring parents today that anyone could want, my children love them to bits.. but unfortunately his childhood has giving him ideas about parenting that I don’t agree with at all, he's very strict even with our 3 year old son.. dinner time at the table is military run as is bed time.. he says a good smack would sort them out it never hurt him ( I must state we never hit our children ) but you can imaging the arguments this statement alone can start, so I makes for big problems when your in the middle of trying to sort out a dilemma with a child. However I think I may have come across a way to solve this so that the arguments don’t start and the surprise acts during a parenting dilemma shouldn’t arise... a parenting contract, stating what you both agree is the right way to parent the children set everything out from bed times and how this should change as they get older to dinner time and school runs. You should also include punishment for each other when you brake the techniques, that way life shouldn’t be difficult, I will let you know how this goes when I have sat with my husband and made one I may even share a copy of it so you can take a look.

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